I woke up today and started thinking about how many people struggle with their bad habits. And since I like to write about things I’ve gone through in my life, I decided to write an article specifically about nail-biting.
At different stages of our lives, we face different struggles, because these stages are linked to different emotional changes within us. Every harmful habit reveals some kind of inner void or dissatisfaction within us. Habits can turn into a strong addiction, and even when we realize that we want to stop and overcome this habit—which seems so simple to others at first glance—it turns out to be a difficult process.
Nail-biting is a common habit that isn’t just unsightly and unpleasant for those around you—it also has deep emotional roots. The purpose of my article isn’t to discuss those reasons, because everyone needs to work on self-reflection on their own. I can only offer some general guidance on where to start.
Various studies and psychologists have concluded that nail-biting is caused by stress, or, as we colloquially say, by “nerves.” Often, “nail biters” have personality traits such as a tendency toward perfectionism, which means that in most cases, these people are unable to relax and calmly complete a task at a pace that is normal for others. In other words, first and foremost, we must learn to manage negative emotions, anger, and irritability—as well as the feeling of boredom. Only after taking this first step can we consider external, visible methods to help us combat this habit.
One of these methods is as follows: clear nail polish that tastes bitter and reminds you not to do it when you put your finger in your mouth. But if you feel the need to do it, even the bitter taste won’t stop you. Another method is getting gel nails, but believe me—people who aren’t mentally ready for this change manage to bite through the gel, too.
I don’t remember how old I was when I started biting my nails, so I must have been quite young to think about the emotional reasons behind it, but I do remember how I stopped. First came the realization that I wanted to stop and that it wasn’t pretty. My mom used to tell me that no boy would like a girl with bitten nails. And apparently, the desire to be liked took root in me, which is why I wanted to stop. After all, for a teenager, that’s the most normal desire.
We were in Hisarya, and a friend of my mom’s (Yoni, thank you) painted my nails with regular nail polish and showed me how to make a little flower on wet polish using three dots and one in the middle—I used a needle to spread the dots, and to me, it was genius—I was in about 7th or 8th grade. From then on, I fell in love with beautiful manicures and started buying nail polish and painting my nails every day—I always did the same thing—the needle design—but so what? After all, my passion for beauty replaced my bad habit, and I forgot what it was like to bite my nails. After all, I was proud of my manicure; my friends noticed it, and I got compliments… For a teenager, that’s very important, and so I managed to break that ugly habit, but there was certainly a change inside me as well—one I can’t really comment on, because I only started examining my emotions and the reasons behind all my actions recently, just 2–3 years ago…
And so this passion just kept growing and growing. And I’m certain that this applies to all kinds of skills—the better you get at something, the more your passion and enthusiasm for creating grow. That’s exactly what happened to me—with each passing year, I learned to create ever more beautiful designs on my nails, and my passion for manicures just kept growing and growing…
This has also become a profession, and with my passion for beautiful manicures, I’ve inspired others as well and have helped quite a few of them stop biting their nails (provided, of course, that they’d already helped themselves first). Well, I’ll admit, sometimes—thankfully very rarely—I do manage to chip my gel polish. The good thing is that it’s a one-time thing, and I realize that I always do it in situations of extreme stress…
And so I transformed that bad habit into a mission to create beauty. About 15 years later, that passion still drives me, and it’s only getting stronger. And what’s most interesting to me is that I recently realized this isn’t a rare occurrence.
Quite a few people signed up for my online manicure course, and when we started with introductions and getting to know each other, I asked them to tell me about themselves and where their love for manicures came from.
I was surprised by how many of them had also bitten their nails before… Was it a coincidence? I don't think so…
Think about how many people who’ve had problems—with their weight, for example—and have overcome them have then dedicated themselves to helping others with the same problem. I have a close friend who’s a hairdresser; as a child, she went without hair for many years due to severe stress… Is it just a coincidence that she started working with hair and making people look beautiful? Think about it yourself…
Look deep within yourself and face the problem head-on. You won't believe which of your shortcomings will turn out to be your life's mission.
We turn our greatest weakness into our most powerful weapon when we are ready to do so.
I hope you find your passion!
A beautiful and joyful life!
…with love: Yours, Elena Art
